How to Deal with Your Child’s Anger

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Two little girls sitting in a playroom, playing a ludo board game; one of them just won the game, while the other one is sad

Do you often deal with tantrums and anger flare-ups from your child? Are you wondering if you’re doing something wrong as a parent? How does one deal with temper tantrums with their child? Read this article to find out. 

Anger is normal: 

There are several reasons for children to show anger and discontentment. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with you! Anger is a normal human emotion, so don’t get too worried about a child displaying his emotions. However, when your child has frequent outbursts, resulting in his anger turning into defiance, physical aggression, and disrespect, you need to assess internal and external factors that could be causing these flare-ups.

Help them understand the difference between their feelings and actions: 

When your child gets angry, let them know that it is okay to get angry and frustrated. These are human feelings. However, it is not okay to physically hit someone or throw something down in anger. This way, you will help your child learn that feelings and actions are two different outlets. When you teach them that they can express their emotions without getting physical or aggressive, they will learn to better monitor their actions and words when unhappy. 

Help them verbalize:

Most of the time, children let their anger out because they don’t recognize the different emotions they are feeling. Therefore, help your child verbalize their feelings. Teach them the difference between being angry and sad, being frustrated and disappointed, being hurt and being neglected. When they learn to verbalize their emotions, they will have better control over their anger flare-ups.  

Get down to the root cause:

Oftentimes, when our children get angry, it is because they didn’t get what they wanted or they didn’t have their way. Instead of reprimanding them or threatening them for their unruly behavior, sit your child down and talk to them. Help them understand what went wrong rather than masking their disappointment with anger. 

Use time out:

When your child is angry, let them know that they can walk away from the situation and find a quiet corner in their room to allow their feelings and emotions to run their course. Removing themselves from the situation is a great way to help children deal with their anger issues. 

Make wudhu:

If your child is old enough to understand how to make wudhu, teach them to immediately make wudhu when angry. Let them know that anger is from shaitan and wudhu helps calm their nerves and keeps shaitan away. 

Don’t give in:

When you see your child angry, you might want to give in to their demand in order to prevent a huge meltdown. This will always have negative consequences. If your child sees you giving in to their tantrums, they will be more determined to ruffle your feathers to get what they want, especially in public places. Therefore, be firm and consistent in your parenting strategy. Let your child know that their behavior has no effect on your terms and rules. Being firm will greatly reduce anger tantrums from your child. 

Avoid excessive screen time:

Screen time has several negative effects on your child’s mental, emotional, and social development. While limited screen time is a great alternative to keep children engaged and entertained, allowing them unlimited screen time directly interferes with their neurological development, leading to irregular sleeping patterns, disturbed concentration, failure to follow commands, and temper issues. Children exposed to violent content or those addicted to playing video games that are highly stimulating often display anger issues. Therefore, maintain a strict hold over what your child watches and how they spend their time online. 

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